For some couples, the question of “Should I circumcise my boy?”, is nothing more than a brief conversation. For others however, the decision can turn into an emotional standoff, when one parent is adamantly for circumcision and the other is just as strongly against it. If you have found yourself in the latter situation, you can use the proceeding tips to help you and your partner come to an agreement on the sensitive issue of circumcision. The following will help you answer the question of “Should I circumcise my boy?”.
1. Keep Focus. The most important thing to keep in mind when trying to come to a decision about neonatal circumcision for your new baby, is that it’s about your son not you. Personal fears, such as judgment being passed on you by your family or community, should be suspended. All of your reasons in support of circumcision or against it, should solely focus on what is in the best interest of your little one.
2. Evaluate Your Reasons & Motives. While your reasons for wanting your child to be, or not to be, circumcised might change at some point in the decision making process, before attempting to persuade your spouse to have a similar stance on the issue, think deeply about the reasons you feel so strongly about the issue.
3. Do Further Research. You may believe that you know everything you need to know about circumcisions, but the truth is you probably don’t, so be sure to do your own research. Scholarly articles, forums on parenting websites, spiritual leaders, family, and friends can all be gold mines of knowledge. Just as you and your spouse initially disagreed on the idea of circumcision, expect to find conflicting information and opinions, and evaluate them together with your significant other.
4. Make Logical Arguments. Try to use logical arguments rather than emotional ones. While your feelings aren’t unimportant, “It’s just the way that I feel about it”, isn’t exactly a full proof argument. Be sure to clearly communicate with your spouse the specific reasons you have a certain opinion about circumcision, and back it up with research or testimonies from others whenever possible.
5. Be Empathetic. Be empathetic towards your spouse rather than aggressive and combative. You have to realize that this decision is important to the both of you. Understand that even if your partner has a dissenting opinion, they have it for reasons that you should take into consideration rather than immediately dismiss. While it is perfectly understandable to have negative emotions arise when you and your wife or husband disagree on such an important issue, keeping your attitude in check will make reaching a consensus a much easier task.
All of the tips in the world couldn’t possibly make the decision on whether or not to circumcise an effortless one. Keeping an open mind and restraining an unyielding attitude is necessary to come to a decision on circumcision when two parents disagree on the topic. So the question remains-should I circumcise my boy? The final word of advice is to have patience and remain positive that ultimately, the best decision for your baby boy will be made.
Rabbi Rovinsky is a seasoned professional within the circumcision industry, evident by the nearly 12,000 circumcisions he has performed. For more information on the Rabbi’s holistic technique or to discuss the three main reasons why parents choose to circumcise their newborn sons, call 314-727-2748 (Local) or 1800-856-6435 (National).